Page 10 - Publishing Inspiration Christmas Card 2023

Small Town Police Reports
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I grew up in the middle of nowhere. We were the last house on the road
with miles of open country between us and juniper-covered hills far to the
north. I usually had a lot of work to do, but when I had some free time, I loved
to ride my horse across the sagebrush-covered rangeland.
Then for a time, I lived in some of the bigger cities in New York. It was
a huge culture shock for me. But after a while, I got used to the fast pace of city
living. When I returned home, some of the things about the simpler lifestyle of
rural living made me smile. One thing I realized I had missed was our small-
town newspaper. It contained news like police reports, which I never saw in a
paper in New York, probably because they would take up the whole paper. But
it wasn’t just the fact that the paper had room to carry the reports, but what was
in them that was different from life in the big cities.
The local paper doesn’t carry police reports anymore, but before they
quit, I had made quite a collection of ones I found to be humorous or different
compared to my life in big cities. I thought I’d share a few here.

1. False fire alarm at student apartments. Students said they burnt their
dinner so bad it was nothing but charcoal, and it set off the fire alarm.
2. Complaint of an intruder. Complainant realized she was on new
medication and it was just a bad dream.
3. Complaint that an ATM machine kept complainant’s credit card.
Subject wanted the officer to open the machine and retrieve credit card.
Subject was shocked to find out the officer didn’t have a key to it.
4. Suspect caught on video stealing sock from dryer at laundromat. The
suspect didn’t feel it was really stealing since the dryer had stolen one of
hers on the previous visit.
5. Verbal dispute. Subject came to another’s business office to educate
him on the proper way to do business. Business owner didn’t appreciate
the help, and words were exchanged about who was the best business
person.
6. Vehicle damage complaint. Claim the touchless car wash scratched
vehicle and felt that calling it touchless was false advertising.

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