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me, Bessie reached over and licked Laura on the side of the face with the same tongue with which she had just disemboweled her own nose. She left a big streak of green slime on Laura’s cheek. “Ahhh!” Laura screamed. “I hate cows!” “Well,” I said, “she really seems to like you. She doesn’t usually kiss on the first date.” “I think I hate you more than I hate cows,” Laura retorted. I chose a very gentle cow for Amanda to milk. Amanda wanted to try milking by hand first, so I showed them how to get the milk coming. “What you are really doing when you milk is squeezing the thumb and forefinger tight around the top of the teat,” I told them. “That locks the milk in. Then, with the other four fingers, you press the teat against your palm, and that forces the milk out.” I demonstrated in slow motion while they watched, and then sped up until I was milking quickly. It took Amanda a few tries, but soon she had the hang of it. After she had milked a little while, I showed her how to put the milker on. She did that, and then she 18