Page 23 - LIfesOuttakes6

Bovine Madness l My friend, Laura, had just had a whole bottle of milk spilled on her, after which she was licked by a thousand sandpaper calf tongues. She was not in a good mood, and would have probably gone home if it hadn’t been that her cousin, Amanda, still wanted to milk a cow. We stepped into the milking barn, and a cow, smelling the milk on Laura, reached out her nose to sniff her. Laura glared at the cow. “Don’t even think about it, Bessie.” “Her name isn’t Bessie,” I said. “What is it?” I didn’t want to tell her that since the cow’s nose was always running, we had named her Snot Nose, so I fudged. “Bessie will do.” Just then, Snot Nose, or, uh, Bessie, reached up with her tongue and cleaned out her own nose. “Eww!” Laura exclaimed. “That is just gross!” As if in response, when Laura turned to look at 17