Page 20 - LIfesOuttakes1

the video, making my debut performance, Mary became excited. “How about him?!” she exclaimed. “How about that short, fat guy?!” John almost choked. “What did you say?” “I said, ‘how about that short, fat...’” John cut her off. “Yes, I heard what you said. Do you know who that is?” She shook her head. John coughed and nodded his head slightly in my direction. Suddenly, Mary caught what he was trying to tell her. She looked at me, then back at the video and then at me again. Her face flamed bright red, outlined by her blond hair, and she took on the appearance of a dim neon light bulb. She spoke hoarsely. “It’s not that I am saying you are fat, or anything. No, it’s just that you do a good job playing a fat guy.” John coughed and choked. “What I meant to say is that you cover up well how fat you are when you...” John didn’t even let her finish this sentence before he started choking and gasping like he needed a ventilator. “What I really was inferring was...” Mary paused, and I could see in her expression that her mind was whirling as the video continued to play. “What I really wanted to say was, ‘Would anyone like some cookies?’” With that, she fled from the room before anyone could even answer. Shortly, she came back with some warm chocolate chip cookies. She offered them to each of us. I know at that point the proper thing for me to have said was, “No thanks, I’m on a diet,” but what I really wanted to say was, “I’m not really hungry, so I’ll just take five or six.” 15