Page 31 - LIfesOuttakes1

“A nose warmer?” Sam queried further. “Yes,” Lenny continued, not even cracking a smile. Without actually putting it on, but just holding it up in front of his face, Lenny demonstrated how it would fit perfectly over the head and nose, as he continued with his exposé. “It has been clinically shown that an athlete can improve his performance by at least 10% if the air he breathes is warm, much like a car engine does. Thus, by simply trapping your breath and recycling it, you, too, can have a remarkable increase in your stamina and speed.” “Wow! That’s cool!” Sam exclaimed. While the rest of us were coughing and choking the laughter out of our throats, Lenny’s face had a serious look, as he continued. “Only the bravest and most determined athletes will wear one, because they are still considered nontraditional. If you want to wear it, I would suggest you only put it on at the last minute, when the gun is fired, so you can take the competition by surprise.” By this time, Sam was dressed and he headed excitedly out to the track, supporter in hand. Most of the team had their heads stuffed in their lockers, trying not to laugh. As soon as Sam was gone, the room exploded. “You don’t think he’ll really do it, do you?” Jack asked through his guffaws. “Of course not,” Lenny scoffed. “Do you think I would have said it if I thought he would? I’m sure he’ll figure it out. If he didn’t, it would make the whole team look stupid.” We didn’t think any more about it. The track meet progressed as usual. Finally, it came the time for the mile - Sam’s event. The runners all lined up. Just as the gun went off, Sam slipped the supporter over his head and was off with the rest. Before the first lap was over, runners were 26