Page 52 - Life's Outtakes 8
P. 52

When he reached the last man, the sergeant made
him open his duffle bag. When he did, out rolled an
orange.

      “Is food allowed in your duffle bag, Private?” the
sergeant demanded.

      “No, Sir,” the soldier replied.
      “And let me tell you why,” the sergeant said,
getting right up nose to nose with the man. “The reason
is because it would suffocate in there with your socks.
I, therefore, declare Private Orange to have died in your
duffle bag.” He then turned to the full group of men.
“Doesn’t Private Orange deserve a proper burial?”
      “Yes, Sir,” the men all answered
unenthusiastically.
      “As soon as he has received his proper burial,” the
sergeant said, “you can all go on furlough.”
      The sergeant chose the place for the grave, a
horrible, hard packed piece of land. The men took turns
chiseling through the soil. After a six foot deep grave
was dug, Private Orange was buried with military
honors.
      As soon as the service was over, the men quickly
filled in the grave and then assembled, excited to go on

                                                     47
   47   48   49   50   51   52   53