Page 40 - Life's Outtakes 8

train.
He hit me hard, and I felt the wind go out of me,

but I held on. I had my arms wrapped around his neck
and one leg over his back. He didn’t seem to like the
idea of being ham-pered in his escape. He took off at
full speed, running circles around his pen, squealing as
he went.

I was afraid that if I fell off he would trample me,
so I held on tight, and away we raced in a literal
competition to bring home the bacon. After a few
rounds, he widened his circle and took me under a low
rafter that caught me hard in the head, knocking me to
the ground.

As I slowly pulled myself together and stood up, I
saw an old neighbor standing there, grinning. “Were
you planning on loading that pig or entering him as a
steed in a bacon derby?”

“Son,” he continued. “That pig outweighs you by
five times. You can’t beat him by strength. Do you
want to know how to load him?” I nodded, so he
handed me a bucket. “Take this and put it over his
head. He will try to back out of it. You just keep
moving forward and back him into the truck.”

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